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Fitting Out

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I got beat up a lot as a kid. I was “the poor kid,” the “awkward kid,” the “shy kid,” and I never fit in.

I wasn’t a “jock,” I wasn’t a “geek,” I wasn’t “popular;” There wasn’t a single group in school that I fit in with.

As I got older, I was determined to find a way to fit in. I started to conform to whatever the popular kids were doing. I saved my money and bought the clothes that they bought, hung around in the same spots they hung around in; I even picked up their vernacular.

After years of trying to fit in, eventually, I realized that I didn’t even know who I was. It got so bad that if someone asked me what I liked I couldn’t come up with an answer because the truth was…I DIDN’T KNOW! How sad is that?

I was miserable!

Then, one day, and I’m not even sure when it happened, I threw up my hands and thought, screw it, it’s too exhausting trying to conform. I’m just going to start being me and if people like me, great, and if they don’t, well, they could just get lost!

That light bulb moment wasn’t the end of the road for me though. I still struggled often with the feeling of not fitting in. I always felt like I was on the fringe and always felt like I was way too different to be part of any group…then it happened!

I’ve always been interested in health and fitness, and I enrolled in school at The Institute for Integrative Nutrition, the world’s largest nutrition school. Through my studies I was introduced to a concept called “fitting out.”

Fitting out really means honoring your authentic self, being who you really are, and NOT conforming. For me it meant not “going along to get along” and not trying to fit somebody else’s definition of “normal.”

I can’t say that the feeling of not belonging is totally gone. Every now and then I still feel like the oddball, but then I remind myself that when I’m not fitting in, that’s a GOOD THING! When I’m being the real me, that is the highest expression of self there is. And it’s in the moments when I am being the authentic me that I feel the best about myself!

I urge you to get in touch with the real you. Be who you were meant to be! When everyone is wearing green, where blue; when everyone is chowing down on burgers, eat a salad; when everyone is glued to the TV, read a book! You were not meant to be a carbon copy of someone else, you were meant to be YOU!

Take care of yourself, be nice to yourself, and be well…and until next time…veg in, don’t veg out!

Karen

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Uncategorized

Your Eulogy or Your Resume

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I spent the past weekend in New York at a conference with my fellow classmates from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I was so energized and amazed to be in the presence of these amazing people that are working to live out their dream of making the world a healthier place.

Among the speakers were Joshua Rosenthal, the founder of IIN, Deepak Chopra, Walter Willet, and Arianna Huffington, just to name a few. They were all incredible and each brought a unique perspective to the weekend. 

I had never heard Arianna Huffington speak before, but I must say, she was absolutely amazing. With humor, compassion, and a large dose of down-to-Earth realism, she told it like it is!

One thing she said that really stuck with me was about our eulogies; what people would say about us when we die. She remarked that when people pass, their eulogy is not about the work that they did (their resume) it is about the kind of person they were. THIS HIT HOME! We spend so much time at work, climbing the corporate ladder, working to move up so we can get…you guessed it…more work, that we don’t get to enjoy our lives!

Now I realize that we all have to work. We need to make a living, we need to pay our bills, feed our families, and give something to society; but do we have to do all of this at the expense of our health and our relationships? I did, for a long time. I spent so much time building my career that I tore down my marriage. I spent so much time trying “keep up with the Joneses” that I was no longer keeping up with my friends and family. I was focusing on all the wrong things!

When I die, and obviously, that’s going to happen at some point. I don’t want people to go to my funeral and say, “Karen was the best damn HR Director I ever met,” or, “Karen spent more time in the office than anyone else!” I want people to say that I was caring, and loving, and nice, and funny, and compassionate. I want them to say that I always looked out for others, was never too busy to help out a friend, was a good listener, and I had a kind heart. 

But then I realized that my audio wasn’t matching my video, meaning, that I was saying this is what I wanted, but all my actions were saying something else.

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t work hard, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have a career you are proud of, but I am urging you to think about what (if anything) you are giving up for your success. I recently read that the average amount of time parents spend in meaningful conversation with their kids is 3 1/2 minutes per week…PER WEEK!!!!! That’s about 30 seconds a day! Is the corner office really worth that?

What will people say about you in your eulogy? What do you WANT them to say? Here’s a novel idea; go get a piece of paper and write your eulogy. Seriously. Write down what you want someone to say about you and then, go out there and start living a life that reflects that. In other words, make sure your audio matches your video!

Take care of yourself, be nice to yourself, and be well. And until next time, veg in, don’t veg out!

Karen

Want to design the fit and happy life you’ve always dreamed of! I can help! Contact me TODAY at http://www.thecaringcoachingcenter.com to get your FREE health consultation and get started on the path to a healthier, happier life!

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