Recently, I took a long road trip with my sister. While we were in the car, jamming out to music on my iPod, she was using her phone to take note of the songs she wanted to download when we got home. That old Paul Simon song, “50 ways to leave your lover” came on. As she tried to type it into her phone, autocorrect stepped in and turned lover to liver. We had a good laugh about it, and then I thought, “HEY…that would be a good title for a blog post,” so here it is!
Okay, so I don’t have 50 ways, but below, I’m going to tell you what to do if you want to totally destroy your liver, but first, let’s talk about what the liver is and what it does.
Your liver is the second largest organ in your body (second only to your skin) weighing approximately 3 pounds and responsible for a host of bodily functions such as:
- Producing clotting factors, blood, protein, bile and more than 1,000 enzymes
- Storing energy from the food you eat to provide fuel for your muscles
- Regulating the levels of blood sugar and several hormones in the body
- Removing poisons such as drugs and alcohol from the blood
So, want to wreck your liver?
1. Drink up! Cirrhosis of the liver is no joke! You’ll enjoy some lovely side effects, such as jaundice, fluid retention, and for the guys, enlarged breasts and shrinking testicles. Fun; huh?
2. Get Hepatitis! It’s easy! Just have unprotected sex with someone you don’t know. You can pick up Hepatitis A, B, or C, and you’ll be in a world of hurt in no time, suffering from fatigue, abdominal pain, and nausea. Who needs a condom when you can be doubled over in pain?
3. OD on Tylenol. Acetaminophen can damage liver cells. Tylenol, as needed, is not a problem, but overdose on lots of it if you want to shut down your liver.
4. Eat lots of junk food. Think fatty and sugary foods like Krispy Kreme’s and Twinkies. Yummo to liver failure!
5. Expose yourself to lots of chemicals. The more chemicals the better! Think hardcore bleach and cleaners with tons of additives that you can’t pronounce. While you’re out it, get out and sniff some exhaust fumes, it’s all good.
6. Sit on your rump. Who needs exercise? Obesity is sure to help you kill off your healthy liver, so embrace your inner sloth.
Actually want to cleanse your liver? Try these 7 foods that will help cleanse your liver naturally:
1. Garlic – contains compounds that activate the liver enzymes that help flush out toxins from the body.
2. Grapefruit – grapefruit is rich in vitamin C, a powerful liver cleanser.
3. Green tea – green tea is loaded with catechins, a type of plant antioxidant that has been shown to promote proper liver function.
4. Green leafy vegetables – argula, spinach, and mustard greens help spur the creation and flow of cleansing bile.
5. Avocado – besides being a healthy fat, avocados protect the liver from toxic overload.
6. Walnuts – walnuts contain high levels of omega-3 fatty acids, that help detoxify the liver of disease-causing ammonia.
7. Turmeric – if you follow my blog (and you know I do) you know how much I love turmeric as an anti-inflammatory; turmeric also boosts the natural production of bile in the liver.
There you go! (not quite) 50 ways to leave your liver.
Take care of yourself, be nice to yourself, and be well; and until next time – veg in, don’t veg out!